i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
