I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
