Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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