I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
