apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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