Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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