1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
