didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
