Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
