Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
