And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
