Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
