dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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