i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
