I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
