My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
