onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
