All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
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I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
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