I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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