On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
