No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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