This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
smell my finger.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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