i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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