The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
