It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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