Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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