I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
