do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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