You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
