So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
