fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
