This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
