I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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