i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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