5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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