I think I died a long time ago.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
