It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
