I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
