Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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