It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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