If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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