there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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