you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
