Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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