State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All I want is dick and wine.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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