he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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