evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
