I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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