he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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