New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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