I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
