We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
