So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i out mim tonsoeep
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