But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
