I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
