the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
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You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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