do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize