Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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