me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
