I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
