Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
did i just pee glitter
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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