ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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