im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
