when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My first STD was from a foam party
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
